By Aunt Hommy
Times have really changed. People are having sex all over the place that they reintroduce themselves to people they have been inside.
It is just sad that sex has become this cheap. Sex is supposed to be amazing. It is supposed to be something you get into to enjoy and most definitely not a lifestyle.
Sad that some young men are playing syndicate with women. A group of men identifies a lady that they will lay one man at a time. When one is done, the other tries his luck, and later, they all meet up for an update. Sad, no?
So before you undress, before you say yes to that invitation to meet behind closed doors, check off a few things. Sex things can take an interesting twist, and that is not always necessarily a good turn. They get complicated.
If one of you is married, what are the terms and conditions of engagement? Discuss the time when one should call and when they shouldn’t bother. Have code words to be safe. Agree on which apps you will use for your sinning. Don’t let your horn hurt innocent people.
Adultery is not recommended, but as and when it happens, it shouldn’t hurt people. And that goes as low as taking an STD back home. If they are not clean, they are not worth destroying your marriage for.
When you decide to engage in this type of sin, make sure you know it will end abruptly without explanation. Family comes first. And if things get complicated, the side piece is dropped first. Be ready for this before engaging.
Are you wrapping it or going live. If they are asking you to bed, imagine that they have been there with other people and are very active. Your life should be prioritized. Don’t believe anything they say for your own protection.
If you are going for an HIV test, go to a neutral place. Results have been forged before. It is also important that you go with this person no matter how discreet you want the relationship to be.
If pregnancy happens, what’s the plan? You have all the fun you want. Enjoy every session under the sheets but don’t bring another human being into a situation you can’t define.
If you can’t call it anything, not a relationship, not a marriage, not a casual something, have a strategy in place of either never bringing a baby in the mix or a plan of how that goes when it happens.
How safe is the smashing venue? People have their wives/husbands, exs, not- defined show up at their places unannounced. His or hers can get complicated.
Before you find yourself in an acid situation:
- Ask the right questions.
- Decide if you are getting comfortable or if it will be an unzip-dip-in and zip-up session.
- Keep your clothes on if the venue is sketchy.
You don’t want to be running around butt-naked.
What’s in the MOU for this smashing? Give it identity before you give in. sex doesn’t guarantee a relationship. But it also doesn’t hurt to find out if it is a one-night stand or something that will happen again. This comes down to how much emotion to invest.
Sex changes things. People feel entitled because they know how you look naked. That sometimes makes them believe that there are lines they can cross when you are dressed. Address this before you undress. This especially goes for office romance.
Conclusion, put some ground rules before the clothes get to the floor for romance.