You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.
Your job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task.
Being married is hard work! When you got married you probably said something that resembled the traditional marriage vows: “I will love you, and comfort you, and keep you in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, keep unto you as long as we both shall live. And I take you for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health; to love and cherish you until death do us part.” But, did you really realize what you were getting into?
You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.
Your job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task.
One of the reasons this process is so difficult is outlined very clearly for us in Isaiah 53:6: “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us have turned to his own way.” We’re all human, wanting to do it our “own way.” But the reality is one can’t have it their way and make mutually agreeable rules and guidelines. If your attitude is “my way is more important to me than the marriage,” you won’t be able to function as a married couple.
The good news is that your marriage doesn’t need to be a failure. If you find you have the problem of self-centeredness, talk to God about it, He can change your heart. Ezekiel 36:26 tells us, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.” There’s hope my friend, and it’s in God!
Take a step . . .
Take a few minutes to think about your marriage relationship: Why did you initially marry your spouse? What qualities does your marriage partner possess that you appreciate? In what ways do you want your “own way” in the relationship? Ask God to change your heart toward your spouse in whichever way you most need it – be open to His leading.
Fix Marriage Problems
Like-Minded Marriage
Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage relationship? Are there times when you just can’t seem to get on the same page with your spouse?. . . If you get married with the idea that the person you’re marrying is going to transform your life – turn you into a loving kindly, gentle, cheerful, happy person, you’re mistaken. Marriage is first of all a matter of your spirit, and marriage will reveal what kind of spirit is in your heart. (read more)
Escaping Difficult Situations
God is with us in every situation, and He is with us right where we are! What we need to discover is how to respond appropriately to our current circumstances. You can either have a wonderful time underneath your skin, or a miserable time underneath your skin, and it’s all up to you. The question is: Do you want to experience true peace, or are you more content with being angry, with bearing a grudge, with complaining, with being cranky? The answer to that question requires some personal reflection!
The Need for Forgiveness
Neither Frank nor Kate Bonner really wanted to break up their home, yet they were heading in that direction–fast!
After 23 years of marriage, Frank had become interested in a younger woman in his office. Kate said she could see why. Kate’s hair was gray, her hands showed the years of housework she had done, her face was lined with the wrinkles of middle age. She was tired much of the time and was subject to frequent and sudden illnesses.
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